By Thomas Ligotti
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Additional resources for Teatro Grottesco
On the heart of the chamber used to be a wide round altar, a huge mandala composed of numerous jewels, beneficial stones, or just bits of glass that gleamed within the candlelight like a pool of multi-colored slime molds. They laid your physique upon the altar; they knew what to do with you (us) – the phrases to assert, the songs to sing, and the esoteric strategies to stick to. It was once nearly as though i may comprehend the issues that they chanted in voices of tortured solemnity. carry the self that is familiar with the ailment from the self that doesn't be aware of. There are faces which must not ever confront one another. there's just one physique which needs to fight to include them either. And the phantom snatch of that affliction, that amoebic dysentery, looked as if it would succeed in me as I walked alongside that slim direction resulting in Severini’s shack on the fringe of St Alban’s Marsh. contained in the shack have been all of the indicates of the Imaginary Museum, the work lining the damp wooden of the partitions and the sculptures projecting out of the shadows forged via the candles which constantly lighted the one room of that ruined hovel. I had imaginatively recreated the internal of Severini’s shack again and again in line with the debts on the topic of me via the others approximately this position and its excellent inhabitant. I imagined the way you may perhaps put out of your mind your self in any such position, the way you can be added from the nightmares and delirious episodes that tortured you in different places, even turning into another individual (or whatever else) as you gave your self up totally to the fluctuations of the organism on the fringe of St Alban’s Marsh. You wanted that marsh since it helped you to imaginatively recreate that tropical sewer (where you have been taken into the nightmare), and also you wanted these artistic endeavors for you to make the crumbling shack into that temple (where you have been presupposed to locate your means out of the nightmare). yet such a lot of all you wanted them, the others, simply because they have been sympathetic organisms. I, nevertheless, was once now an opposed organism who sought after not anything extra to do along with your esoteric tactics and illicit practices. bring the self that is aware the disorder from the self that doesn't comprehend. the 2 faces . . . the only physique. You sought after them to go into the nightmare, who didn't even be aware of the nightmare as we knew it. You wanted them and their artistic endeavors to enter the nightmare of the organism to its very finish, to be able to locate your means out of the nightmare. yet you couldn't visit the very finish of the nightmare except i used to be with you, I who was once now an adverse organism with none wish that there has been a fashion out of the nightmare. We have been perpetually divided, one face from the opposite, suffering in the physique – the organism – which we shared. I by no means arrived on the shack that evening; I by no means entered it. As I walked alongside that slender course within the mist I turned feverish. (‘Amœbic dysentery,’ suggested the physician whom I visited the next day to come. ) The face of Severini seemed on the shack that evening, now not mine. It used to be consistently his face that the others observed on such nights after they came around.